Dos and Don’ts In Relationships (Both Sides)
Tips for Men
Dos:
Know Your Woman
It’s highly important to know when your woman is mad and what she is mad about. As a woman, I can honestly say I have made mistakes expecting my man to know exactly how to meet my desires. Although this can be unfair and is not entirely true, learning your woman should get better. You don’t have to be perfect, because “there is no such thing as a perfect relationship” (my mother’s words), but learning how certain situations make your woman interact is a must in a relationship! If you know she does not like when you put cold beverages on the furniture without coasters, don’t do it! Something as simple as that can make a woman happy. It shows you care about her desires no matter what they are, and us women admire that deeply.
Show Appreciation (Not Only In Words)
As a woman, I love to hear “Thank you”, but as we all know, “Actions speak louder than words!”. Do not tell a woman thank you just because she complained about your lack of appreciation, and do not say you appreciate something and then take it for granted in return. Show her! Practice on noticing what all your woman is doing. A lot of times, women are constantly going out of their way for their man, but it goes unseen. This can make women feel as if what they are not doing is never enough. This is where a lot of their frustrations come from.
Be Honest
If you do not want a relationship, then let the woman know! We feel disrespected when a man just wants sex but even more disrespected when being led on! It may be easier to keep quiet about your real intentions as you get what you really want, but this is selfish. Try putting yourself in her shoes and think of the negative emotions that you would have troubles coping with. It would be less of a hassle when pursuing someone with similar intentions.
Have Your Life in Order (Mentally and Physically)
From personal experience, a lot of men who have approached me had no clear path for their future. They were often unsure about what they wanted in life in general or just could not seem to begin their journey. When this happens, it simply means there is confusion mentally and there is no need to bring a woman into that. Having this state of mind can bring mistreatment upon any woman. Confusion about life in general can signal possible confusion in the relationship itself. This will likely happen when there is so much uncertainty. No one deserves to live a lie with another person.
Don’ts:
Cheating, Really?
If you are not feeling your woman anymore, let her know. Discuss concerns instead of pursuing other people. If you are going to pursue other women, then break up with your current woman and do it the right way. Breaking her heart is not a way to treat someone who has showed you love even when she did not have to do so. Women may even have a feeling that you’re cheating, but at times, we love our men enough to try to change things. Not every woman does that though, so it’s best to cuff her for life if you get one that’s willing to go through that kind of pain for you!
Don’t Make Excuses!
Okay, we all make excuses from time to time, but all those excuses in a relationship just stop seeming so convincing, especially, when there are recurrent and undesirable actions! Try stating the truth even when you know she may get mad. She’ll respect you for your honesty and there will be no lies to catch down the line. This responsive behavior can prevent so much unneeded drama.
Don’t Lie!
Lying so much really destroys a relationship, and this not understood enough. Constant lies destroy trust. Without trust, the relationship is over. Lies come with insecurities and that alone will make either partner want to give up completely. Think of how hard it is to gain trust from another person in the first place. Trust is so valuable that it doesn’t come often. Once it’s gone, it may never come back or could take several years and efforts for it to return.
Don’t Push Away A Good Woman!
Generally, men tend to focus on work and other factors that only involve them. Men! Don’t constantly take your woman’s nurturing actions for granted. As her efforts go unnoticed, she may very well get tired and stop altogether one day. Women get bored too! They get fed up with showing love so persistently but only getting bread crumbs every now and then along the way.
Tips for Women
Dos:
Know Your Man
Women tend to get caught up on the man earning their approval that they neglect to even learn them as a person. Yes, we love for our man to work for us, but he deserves as much love and effort as we do. What this means is learn what your man likes and dislikes as well.
Show Appreciation
Men also love appreciation. Do something spontaneous sometimes. Do not make them do all the work. Make them feel like you are worth all the trouble. Showing them appreciation makes them feel that they are good enough to you. Men also do not like to waste efforts for nothing.
Encourage Him
Men are the protectors and providers of the household but some thoughtful encouragement can go a long way. They will adore you deeply if they feel that you are by their side during their journey to successes.
Carry Yourself Well
Okay, it honestly irks my nerves when I see women complain about a man just wanting them sexually when they are walking around in such revealing clothing! You do not have to look seductive to get a man! Do not complain about a man wanting to try you sexually when you are basically looking like a piece of meat! Of course, a man may see you as being attractive in bed, but they can also see you as a lady and will not always approach you in hopes of sleeping with you. It is all about what you attract!
Set Boundaries
When a man does something we dislike, address it then and not later. Never hold in your requests, because this will only get you the opposite of your desires in the long run. Men cannot guess what you want all the time. Maybe after years they will start figuring it out based off your attitude and actions, but let’s be fair and help them learn at first.
Don’ts:
Don’t Play So Hard To Get
Women will have been through so much with the wrong men in their past that they can become quite bitter and play hard to get with the next man they converse with. This is kind of attractive at first, and men do like the chase sometimes, but don’t overdo it! They will get tired eventually and think you are just not into them nor want a relationship.
Don’t Nag!
Nagging is something men truly hate. It is the perfect way to run them off quickly! If he is not doing what you want him to do, then voice it in a way that doesn’t involve nagging and deeply criticizing him. They will start to think they cannot do anything right nor satisfy you and may just decide to check out of the relationship. You will certainly hate that! It’s obvious that you care, but do not push your man to do the opposite of what you desire due to frustration.
Don’t Force It
If a man cares about you, then you won’t have to beg him to show it. He will do it all on his own without any force from you. Love comes naturally. If he does not show you respect nor respect your requests, then let him be. He’ll either come around or not. Don’t lose your sanity over not having the ability to control what he does when it comes to you. More than likely, he is just not the one for you if it takes so much effort to get him to value you.
Don’t Act Like A Wife Too Soon!
I had to put this under the tips for women, because I feel that we make the mistake of acting as a spouse too soon the most. Make your man earn some of what you do. Do not start all this cooking, cleaning, and other wifely duties so soon. It’s okay to do all of that sometimes, but don’t make it an obligation. They need something to look forward to in a marriage. Some men will think they have no reason to marry when they are already getting all of the wifely qualities from you before committing to you. It does not have to be intentionally either. They may just get comfortable with it.
Don’t Push Away A Good Man
Believe it or not, we are guilty of doing this. It is true that a lot of women have run into a lot of men that are not serious. Remember, men go through the same thing too! Do not always compare the next one to your last one! There could be a good man right in front of you, but you will fail to notice due to not letting go of your negative assumptions about men period. Do not do this! You will regret it when the “good” man leaves!
Note for Men And Women
Obligations are for marriage. Men, don’t ask for too much of your woman at the beginning of the relationship. Also, please don’t ask her for her body, money, and to stay at her place. That makes it seem like you only want her for what she has rather than for her as a person. It also makes it seem like you don’t have your life together and want someone to take care of you. Nurturing from your woman will come with time and after proof that you plan to commit to her. Women, you can do some things for your man but don’t feel obligated. Everything should be done out of love, but it all should come with a limit. Both parties should get to know each other’s history and go from there. That alone will tell both of you how to approach the relationship. It is also good for knowing what each other’s intentions are to prevent any misunderstandings. Maybe one day, the relationship will have the chance of evolving into something more serious that will be worth all the efforts.
