Signs He Isn’t Talking to You for the Right Reasons

Um….“I Had To Do It!” (in my Nicki Minaj’s voice) Let’s get to it! The truth is ugly sometimes, but wouldn’t you rather live in honesty rather than lies? Your entire life will be more peaceful when you lower your tolerance for the nonsense, and that’s facts!

Disrespectful Approach

Look at how he comes up to you. I have had men come up to me and look at me like something to eat while asking for my number at the same time. How disrespectful is that? If they cannot ask you to get to know you in a respectful manner, they have no morals. They do not even care how they look to you first of all. If his first date for you is at a bar, that also shows you that he does not want anything serious. Walk away before you get yourself in a mess. The signs definitely be there from the very beginning at times. 

Asking To Come Over

If a dude asks you to come over, he wants you in bed. I could not sugarcoat this one…it was just not in me to do it. A lot of us women like to think we will have a real relationship with these types of dudes one day, but he already lets you know his intentions just by asking you to come over after y’all have just met! He may even want a meal and place to lay his head for the night. He wants nothing but what you have to offer. Don’t fall for it, not even when you feel lonely. That feeling will pass, and don’t degrade yourself for anyone for something like that. It’s not worth it. You’re better than that. You have the strength to say no. It just simply takes a push.

He Just Got Out Of A Relationship

These types of guys usually want to play around before having the desire to settle for one woman again. They are usually confused about what they want and even depressed over the breakup and decide to be reckless about it. They have no issue disrespecting you to relieve them of the pain they are going through. You are strictly for pleasure at this point. You will more than likely be something to play with. You never know…he may go running back to the ex girlfriend.

Allowing You To Pay For Things Too Soon

I’m sorry but not sorry (in my Beyoncé’s voice), but the answer needs to be NO, NO, and…NO! What kind of a real man would even want this from a woman? He’s simply a little boy looking for a mama. You need a man who has the potential to be the head of a household. If he can’t even pay for a date, what makes you think he can pay his portion of the bills in a house with you or even for a ring for you?! These men will let you pay for just about anything for them. Keep your money for yourself and other important matters in your life. Do not go broke for a little boy. Do not and I repeat…do not waste your valuable time! He’s not even worth a conversation! A man that is for you will not want you to pay for anything that he needs or wants. Down the line, it’s okay to get something on special occasions for him, but a real man will not ask you to do it nor require it.

Not Giving You Time

So…if you find yourself begging a man for time, you are not on his priority list. The classic saying is, “A man will make time for you if he cares about you”. It’s true, and you better believe it. He will fit you in to his busy schedule if he wants you, trust me. Stop believing these dudes when they tell you that they are too busy when you complain to them about a lack of attention. He just doesn’t think of you…face it, and stop being in denial. If you are lucky, you could probably catch him out somewhere either with another woman or his guy friends having drinks. Leave him and wait on someone who will see you as being relevant in his life, because you clearly do not run across his mind enough for him to even text you! He is caught up with other things that actually matter to him.

Not Trying To Learn You As A Person

If he is not asking you questions that will allow him to know you better as a person, he does not care to know you as a possible wife one day. He may make small talk to get what he wants from time to time, but it means absolutely nothing. I say this, because women can get confused when the words are not matching the actions. It’s simple! Believe the actions. Anyone can say anything and mean something else. A dude can make himself appear interested in you in order for you to give up what he wants out of you…but that can be it! He’s simply running the game on you. If you fall for it, just take your respect back and drop him! Learn your self worth! If you want to test him, ask him why he is interested in you and see what his response is. If it takes him too long to answer, he is in whatever y’all are doing for the wrong reasons.

Everything Revolves Around Him

So…if your dude wants you to constantly praise him but just refuses to do the same for you in return, you need to do one thing and it’s simple… LET HIM GO! He is too self absorbed, and you will always feel unappreciated and unloved dealing with someone who can’t get off of his own self. A man should show love for you like he does for himself. If he doesn’t, he surely won’t be a good protector of you.

Not Respecting Your Requests

Come on now! If this does not tell you that he’s not the one, I don’t know what will. He can’t even do the simple things. Am I right? You know I am! This man just does not value you. He does not care for your happiness. When you’re really down and out about something, this type of man does not stop what he’s doing. Do not expect him to be a shoulder to cry on, because he will disappoint you. Respect yourself!

Showing No Care For Your Well-Being

This is critical! It also goes with him being a protector of you. If he does not care about your health (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual), he will likely not be there for you through hard times. The vows for marriage include making a promise as newlyweds to be there for one another in sick and health. So do you really think this type of man will do that for you? This man is not in it for all that. That’s too inconvenient for him. You will be on your own always as if you are single…so you may as well be by yourself. Think about your future…please! He probably wouldn’t even care if you ended up in the hospital. You think I’m exaggerating? Think about it…if someone does not care about something, they don’t care what happens to it either. Run for your life. You don’t want to be around someone who does not care about your well-being. What if you were in a near death situation and had to depend on him to make sure you survived through it? You would most likely be looking desperate hoping he will save you. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not putting myself in a risky situation like that. I’m not saying every man is this bad when he doesn’t value a woman, but some of them can be this cold. I’ve seen it in action! Value yourself!

Advice…

If you’re okay with not wanting a real relationship, that’s your preference, and I’m not knocking anyone for that decision. These tips are useful for those of you who want something serious and have no time for the shenanigans from a little boy. Noticing these red flags sooner rather than later will have you ready for your king instead of being occupied by someone who is only there temporarily. Don’t let them use you up and throw you away once they are done with you. Throw them away like the trash they are…and that is all!