Life As An Introvert

Personal Experience Based

Psychology was my major in undergrad, and I found the topic “introvert” to be extremely interesting. This blog post on introverts is coming from my own life experiences as an introvert. I feel as though getting a personal understanding of this personality trait will give you more of an inside perspective of what it is like to be one. Hopefully, it will also help you determine if you too may carry this personality trait. Yes, you may find other sites that give you the breakdown of an introverted personality, but this blog breaks down numerous categories on this topic from development to adaptation along with a personal side to further explain it in greater detail. 

Who Are Introverts?

An introvert is basically a person who keeps to him/herself. It is the opposite meaning of extrovert, which is a person who is outgoing. Sometimes, they are also considered shy and quiet. In other words, they are more in tune with themselves rather than the external factors in society.

Introverts and Solitude

All human beings are social beings, which means we all have to have someone around who is close to us whether it is one person or a lot of people. Introverts have no problem going off by themselves for some time, but that does not mean that they are anti-social. We just like “me” time every now and then. It gives us time to get our thoughts together about our life and sometimes, it is just for some down time from our sometimes busy lives. We sound pretty normal, right?! Well of course we’re normal! I do not think this is a bad trait to have, because everyone needs a day just for themselves every now and then. It is also a good moment for people to stop and evaluate their lives. This time can be used to plan out so much for the future.

Introverts and Development

Throughout the developmental period, personalities are being created. Parents may express these traits or maybe even create an introverted based lifestyle for their children. When I was a child, my mother displayed both of these situations. She was what people would call a “homebody”, which is someone who stays at home the majority of the time. She did not go many places and was okay with not having strong friendships. I did not go many places unless she was going most of the time. It was not until the year before high school that I started going out with friends and exploring more places. This particular lifestyle caused me to mostly stay in my room whenever guests came. Even family members did not see much of me. My mother did begin having discussions with me about not staying in my room when family came, but I was already so accustomed to it. 

Introverts and Friendships

When it comes to friendships, introverts like to keep what is called a, “small circle”, which is about one or two friends and maybe a boyfriend/girlfriend. We will go more into depth about relationships in the next category. I used to think I had a social problem. I would get nervous being around a lot of people, because I felt like they were watching me, but I’ve grown out of that through maturity. It never seemed to work out when befriending numerous people at one time. I guess all of the different personalities were a little too overwhelming for me, since that was what I mostly complained about. I also went through bullying because of my introverted ways, which is another topic I will be discussing further down. The end result for all of this would include me having disagreements with people or just simply being distant until there was barely anymore communication. I kept only one good friend for most of my school years. 

Introverts and Relationships

Now, relationships have been a slightly confusing part of life for me. When I was younger, I could talk on the phone all I wanted; however, as much as I wanted to see the guy, I was too shy to meet him. Also, when I really grew to like someone, I could not look at him in the eyes. Now, imagine how I would be when their friends and family were around. I started feeling all awkward and thinking crazy thoughts. Sometimes, I would have to walk to the restroom to recollect myself. Keep in mind, this is only when I really liked a guy, which separates me from having a social anxiety disorder. Having that mental disorder usually affects a person no matter who they are around. Intimacy has also been kind of confusing for me. At first, it was a little challenging to sit close to the guy and let him put his arms around me. Further into the relationship, when it came to a guy wanting to touch me, I felt odd and always kept my eyes closed. I’ve grown out of that as well of course, but it all comes with experience.

Introverts and Bullying

Many of you may already know that bullying in high school is common. Bullies pick on kids who are quiet and keep to themselves. Also, they will pick at them to make them feel better about their own selves. Honestly, this happens outside of high school and with adults too. When you are an introvert, people tend to underestimate your boundaries. You may have people asking you to constantly do things for them and even to the point of speaking to and treating you so ruthlessly. An introverted personality can make others feel as though they are superior to you in some ways. Introverts are somewhat passive, but this does not mean that we will not take up for ourselves. A lot of times, it just takes us a few times to be underestimated for us to respond. Do not feel as though you are weak in any way because of this. Being introverted can also save anyone from a lot of drama. When someone gets us mad enough to respond out of anger, it is as bad or worse than an already outspoken individual due to the build up of frustration. To sum it all up, most introverts would rather let issues run their course rather than entertain it unless we have a strong passion to change it.

Introverts and Careers

I have actually read articles and psychology books that mention how introverts seek jobs that do not require a lot of interaction with people. Well, this can be true but not for all introverts. I, myself, can actually adapt to a job that requires extroverted characteristics. For those that seek jobs with a lack of interaction with the public, they choose professions in factories, computer science, finance, engineering, and etc. For the time being, I have a sedentary position where I can choose to not interact with others, but sometimes work can give introverts a sense of social connection if they don’t receive it elsewhere really. At the end of the day, all humans require some social interaction to function properly. 

Introverts and Activities

A lot of extroverts like to go out and explore the world. I am not saying introverts do not do the same thing sometimes, but it is just a different way in the frequency of it and how most of us act when we are out. For example, extroverts may be the main people dancing and shouting at events to have a good time. Introverts may not dance as much, instead; we may stand around and talk to a few people and get a few drinks and observe. Extroverts may also normally choose to be in sororities and fraternities at colleges, which require a lot of interaction and being noticed by a lot of people. Introverts could do this, but most of us would choose to join other types of clubs that are available at the campus that do not require as much attention. I guess the point I am trying to make is that some extroverts will probably choose a concert over the movies, while the introvert would most likely choose…well you already know the answer to that by now.

Introverts and Misunderstandings

As I mentioned earlier, misunderstandings stand for what an introverted person will allow from people in terms of being a target for bullying and other mistreatment, but we are also sometimes misunderstood for being “stuck-up”. When we are in the state of mind to where we are distancing ourselves from other people, it is not meant to offend. We are simply keeping to ourselves for the moment because of the comfort we feel from it. When it comes to me, I will be so silent that people often mistake that something is wrong with me, and the same thing stands for the look I may have during that moment. I do not have anger nor do I have any other type of animosity toward anyone during that time. I could even be in deep focus and thought just as any normal person. Who would have thought? I am simply in tune with myself, that is all. Sorry if we may appear annoyed if you ask us if we are okay…most likely we are because of the frequency of that question, but rest assured, we won’t make you out to be an enemy over it.